Really Peroxide, another one of these “guess what I did last night?” posts, really?
Yeah, really. Deal with it.
Tavi and I went out to brunch on Sunday, my favorite place, it was quite lovely.
I’ve been thinking about, worrying about, fretting over the boundary discussion I knew we needed to have. I was quite worried that somehow my reaffirming that sex is off the table, was going to seem… ungrateful, no, disinterested? I’m not sure exactly, but I was concerned that the talk was going to be awwkward and stressfull and end with an end to our arrangement.
It didn’t. Everything went quite smoothly. We discussed that sex (all sex, oral, anal, vaginal and manual) are not things I’m OK doing outside of a lifetime commitment. We also established that it is Ok for her to tease me with and about these things, make me aware that she wants them, but that even if/when I begin to feel more flexible about these limits that she shouldn’t push unless she wants to break me (And she doesn’t want to break me.)
We talked a bit about Polyamory, how it works for her and how I feel about being involved with a poly-amorous woman. The short version is I can deal with it so long as we’re casual, despite my infatuation. However, what I couldn’t do is date someone else and still do what we’re doing with Tavi. Like I said, I’m not poly.
(And I’m skipping a head here, to some post play afterglow-y conversations)
Like this, with more face in boob.
We talked about fantasies, hers and mine (they line up is some terrific ways) We talked about where we see our futures individually, and where we might like this arrangement to lead. Her ideal arrangement is almost enough to make me wish I were just a slightly different version of myself, who would be OK being the property of a married woman. (You know how ownership pushes my buttons.)
We discussed more about hard and temporal limits. D/s (which I’ve said is not something I’ll do casually) might, as we go along become acceptable on a scene by scene basis, but not 24/7, no collars. Truthfully D/s scenes would hardly be a push, since I already react pretty strongly to Tavi’s assertiveness.
Ok, back to after brunch.
The plan was to stop off at her place and digest a bit and then head on to Roller skating, which I suspect was her wanting to watch me flail about like a new born deer while she skated circles around me.
We never made it to roller skating. It was great.
I don’t know if I can or even want to describe playing with her here. I will say that remember how I was concerned about being to vocalize pleasure? I don’t have that problem with pain. We’re going to be investing in a ball gag. And restraints. Yeah, I’m a noisy, squirmy bottom.
My bruises are a lot less bruisey and impressive than they feel and most of the scratch and bite marks have already faded. (though there is a mole on my side that she almost ripped off) But I’m going to need to learn to sit still, if I want the sort of lasting marks of affection that I crave.
It’s so difficult not to try and get away from the pain. It hurts, a lot, I’m conflicted too, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more beautiful than the look on her face after I’ve taken a hit from her. It transcends beauty.
I mean, I don’t even have words for how gorgeous this woman is to begin with, but when she’s pinning me to the bed telling me to be still and breathe. And then there’s the pain, worse than I imagined and fantasized, and more pure and perfect than I could have thought, and the look in her eyes… I wish I could take more.
I want to let her tear me apart.
But for that we need a gag. And restraints.
This is pure wonderfulness. I’m so fucking happy for you!!!!!!!!!!
Also, I swear too fucking much. I blame you. Fucker.
Ferns
I’m happy for me too!
And I haven’t got a bloody clue what you mean. Blaming me is pure bollocks. My damn language is un-fucking-reproachable.
This is absolutely lovely! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, I’m happy to hear you enjoyed it.
Shared pain is a wonderful thing, freely given and taken. I’m very happy for you.
It is, isn’t it. Thank you Tomio, I’m pretty thrilled myself.
I’m glad your boundaries discussion went well.
Also, I suspect I will turn out to be a noisy, squirmy bottom. I’d much rather that than quiet and stoic. As long as I don’t chicken out, I’ll find out this Saturday! 😀
I am too. I hoped it would, I was pretty sure it would, but I had this niggling worry that it would wreck everything.
It’s a lot more difficult to keep taking hits than I imagined. Fortunately Tavi’s done quite a bit of martial arts and wrestling, so She can usually hold me in place. But I’m thinking restraints will be a good investment.
Good luck on Saturday!
Right now I can only make noises like “Awww.” and “Yeeeeeeehhhhhhhhh.” and “eeeeeee” because this is super, super fantastic. Congrats, Peroxide. 🙂
Funnily enough, those are the only sounds I feel like making right now myself This is super fantastic thank you.
I’ve been “lurking” on your blog and following you for a while now – but I had to tell you this time that I got tingles reading that – I’m happy for you. Genuinely.
Thanks, I love comments (lurkers are great too!) I totally got tingles writing it, even thinking about it now is making me warm all over.
Whee! This post is great! I want more posts about what you’ve done last night! But only if, you know, they’re interesting. Like this. No, “So I got home with my gyro and watched Mythbusters and then fell asleep to the news.” None of that.
Here I was perfectly content and now you’ve gone and done it. I just know I don’t be happy until I’ve had a gyro. *sigh*
Hey! You are getting beaten! That trumps a gyro, buddy!
I’m not getting beaten right now, and I’m hungry!
Sounds like quite a lovely day. Congratulations!
All these congratulations make me feel like I’ve won an award, or accomplished something important. Thank you nonetheless.
Pingback: Plugs for plugs | Submissive in Seattle