“Butt stuff” for Boys (and beginners)

I have an amazing girlfriend, who sometimes fucks me in the ass. The act is not only pleasurable in itself, but also a deeply erotic fulfillment of long-held fantasies.

I’m not quite sure exactly when I began to experiment with “Butt Stuff,” but it was at some point in my sexually tumultuous mid-teens, when I was less a human being and more a loosely assembled collection of hormones and urges just waiting for enough privacy to give myself release.

I don’t remember what I fantasized about, or whether I fantasized at all, but at that time, if I had the house to myself and I was horny (I was always horny) I would experiment with other sensations during masturbation. A major one of these was anal stimulation.

What I tend to fantasize about these days.

With limited access to the internet at the time, I didn’t have any guidance for how to go about playing around with my back door. I basically just shoved anything that looked like it might feel good up there. Having grown up, I eventually read some horror stories and now I realise that I’m lucky that I didn’t hurt myself.

That’s why I want to write this guide to “Butt stuff” for boys (and beginners).

First off I should cover what it means if you experiment with and/or enjoy anal play. Are you ready?

It means that you’ve experimented with and/or enjoyed anal play. That’s all. It’s merely a sexual act. It doesn’t make you gay, bi/bi-curious, feminine, submissive, or slutty. The ass is just one of the body’s erogenous zones, and it is yours to do with what you will.

However, it may change your perspective on things, or play on fantasies of certain scenarios. For me anal play goes hand-in-hand with my submissive, bottomy, and even bi-curious, fantasies. Growing up in a sexually-inflexible culture, anal play is taboo, especially for straight guys. That can add a feeling of naughtiness that many people enjoy.

As a beginner, a total anal virgin, having never experimented with any butt stuff, I think the best place to start is a warm shower. Clip your fingernails. Get horny, and take a warm shower and just feel around back there. See if you like touching your butthole. It can be pretty sensitive. If you do, you can gently press a finger inside and see how it feels to be penetrated.

If you’re too tight, don’t force it.  There are two things you can do to help do. Firstly relax, being tense causes you to tighten up. (I find that being turned on helps a lot too) Secondly, use lube. There are different reasons for different lubes, but for a little self-fingering in the shower, a natural oil, lotion, or even vaseline should work fine. Don’t use soap or anything that’s too harsh or scented though, it will sting.

In fact, whenever you’re going to put stuff in your ass you should use lube. And use the right kind of lube depending on what you’re doing. You cannot have too much lube in your ass. (You can however have too much lube spilled all over the bedspread, so be careful.) Seriously. For anal you want a thick, long-lasting lubricant, you want it in and around your asshole, and you want it all over whatever is going into your asshole. This, along with going slow, help prevent you from literally tearing your asshole. If you’ve been going at it for a while, it’s a good idea to stop and add more lube, because it will wear off, or evaporate and you will have a bad time.

Moving forward, the shower is nice for first time experimentation because cleaning is easy. Something that puts many people off playing with their asses is the obvious fact that poop comes from there. And yes, if you play with your ass, at some point you will have to deal with some poop.

Most of the time however , there isn’t any poop in your anus, unless you have to go to the bathroom. Going to the bathroom 15 or so minutes before anal play, and giving yourself a quick wash, is usually enough keep things fairly clean. That’s what I do before any solo play. And after awhile it becomes easier to sense if your ass is in good shape to play with.

However, if you want to get things sparkly clean you can apply enemas. It’s pretty cheap to get an enema bulb online, and they’re simple to use. Simply fill the bulb with  warm water, insert into your ass and gently squeeze. Expel the water into the toilet until it comes out clean. Then wait 30 or so minutes before engaging in play. This is what I do before I let someone else play with my ass; I’m more self-conscious in this case.

Other tips for cleanliness are to use gloves for fingering/fisting, and to cover anything inserted into your ass with a condom. I buy bulk condoms off amazon at about $15 per hundred and do this with all my toys to  make cleanup time after a lot easier.

Speaking of toys and insertions, the cardinal rule for anal toys is to never insert anything into your ass that doesn’t have a flared base. You do not want to lose things up there.

The other key thing to remember is to buy sex toys from reputable companies that make their toys out of body safe materials. For anal play especially you want something that can be sanitized; the best toys are 100% Silicone, surgical steel, or glass.

When I first invested in actual insertable toys (having made do with household items early on) I bought a butt-plug and a prostate stimulator from Tantus. I’ve been so happy with their products I’ve bought several more items. Furthermore they’ve got great sales, and “grab-bag” items that can be gotten on clearance if you don’t care about color.

Going slow is super important with anal, ease into yourself and don’t go too big too fast. Good first time toys have narrow tips that gradually taper out to a wider middle, and are of course flared at the base.)

If you’re getting into anal play, adding it as an element of your masturbation or sex-life can be very enjoyable. Just putting in a small or medium plug before sex or masturbation adds a whole new element of pleasure. I have found that orgasms during anal play are so intense and uniquely pleasurable that they defy description.

If you want to be on the receiving end of anal sex from either a dildo or a cock, you need to train your ass first. This probably means investing in a few toys, that range in size from small to a bit bigger than whatever you plan on getting fucked by. Butt plugs, being kind of static in your ass, help train the muscles to stretch, but the more intense movement of being fucked requires a bit of extra flexibility.

Even though I’ve been playing with my ass for years, and Chaos and I have already engaged in pegging, I still make sure to loosen myself up a bit before I know it’s going to happen.

When she told me that she wanted to do a “very rough” pegging scene. I made sure to stretch a lot in the days preceding our date, using a toy that was larger than the cock she fucks me with, so that our sex could feel spontaneous and I could let her be rough with me without worrying about injury.

When you’re going to be on the receiving end of a fucking, it’s important to communicate a lot. Communication is just like lube in the respect that you simply cannot have too much of it. Your partner should also know what they’re doing, and you should talk to them about what they’re going to do, what they want from the experience, and what you want from the experience.

Getting fucked in the ass in intense. For me, getting fucked in the ass by the woman I love is one of the powerfully intimate things I’ve ever experienced. I simply cannot shut up during the act either: sounds are just forced out of my mouth constantly because the sensation is so strong. The noise is one of the things a lot of dominant women say they like about pegging, it feels like power, forcing those sounds out of your lover. Getting fucked also pushes my buttons: I feel like a naughty, dirty, submissive fucktoy when Chaos takes my ass, and I love it.

Often when people talk about anal play for guys, there is a holy grail that is held up as the end-goal of ass play. The “prostate orgasm.” That is, an orgasm that comes solely from stimulation of the prostate (a walnut sized gland accessed via the anus) often dubbed the “Male G-spot.”

I’ve never had one. But, I’ve had orgasms from manual stimulation during or right after my prostate was stimulated and they left me gasping and convulsing on the bed, unable to speak, or even really think.

The point is for you both to have fun

Those anally-stimulated orgasms are so fucking amazing, but I want to stress, that that is not “the point” of receiving anal from your partner. The point is to enjoy being intimate and “kinky” by exploring taboo sensations with them. To explore each other’s bodies and push your boundaries. Don’t let searching for that magic button spoil anal for you or your partner.

Do not let your newfound pleasure make you selfish, especially if you’re exploring pegging.  Topping during sex takes a lot of energy and (submissive guys having sex with women, especially) you should make sure that your partner is getting their needs met too!

Anal play is great for boys. Whether you want to experience stronger, more full-bodied orgasms,  think that it would be hot to experience being penetrated, or just exploring your body and finding out different ways it can experience pleasure. While it may not become everyone’s favorite thing, I heartily recommend giving it a shot.