Chaos and I have been doing a lot more puppy play recently than I ever suspected I would engage in. It started with, I don’t know, her commenting that I was like a cute puppy, especially when my hair would flop over my face. She started using “puppydog” as often…
Hindsight is 20/20: Polyamory for the Mono-amorous
For a very long time I’ve wanted to try and share my experience with polyamory, since it seems to be a fairly common practice in the BDSM “community.” I feel like many people who are new to BDSM are going to find that many potential partners already have partners of…
Gone Quiet
I haven’t written in a while, and I haven’t been particularly chatty on social media either. I’m doing better than I was, but I’m expending all of my energy on the things that are vital to me right now. Self-care, school, and Professor Chaos. I did really well in school…
Ride’em Cowboy
A few weeks ago Chaos tried to fist me again. It was marvelous; she’s getting pretty close to being able to fit her whole hand inside me, I told her that I had stretched myself out with Dita (my biggest and most realistic dildo) ahead of time. When she told…
Things to look forward to.
Things are more or less looking up for me right now. I’m on a better mix of meds which has once again leveled out my mental state. It’s not perfect, but its definitely at a place where I can function much better than the last six months. School is going…
Another Year
I’m tired of writing about my mental illness. I’m tired of finally having the urge and energy to create something, only to find it has been so long since I’ve updated my blog that (due to it’s autobiographical nature) I feel obligated to do a recap what I’ve just partially…
Proper care for your boytoy
I’m not doing well. The process of tapering off of Effexor is draining all of my energy, and at the same time my anxiety and depression are riding high. What really bothers me about being so broken is that my lack of emotional energy, my low threshold for any type…
What’s going on
I want to write. I really do, despite how infrequently I have been updating. There are things I want to write. And I’m going to. But I feel like I need to do a quick update on what is going on with me first. A little over two months ago,…
To be a man
When I was younger, I was smart and mature for my age, (at least that is what I was told). I’m twenty-five now and I should feel like a grown-up, I should be able to handle adulthood and all of it’s attendant responsibilities. And, the truth is that I can’t…