Chastity Round Robin

I was awfully optimistic when we went into lockdown that I’d be pumping out all the writing I’d wanted to do but had been too busy for. Since we’re now halfway into Locktober, here’s a chastity round-robin I started back in freakin May.

I shared these questions and their responses with three longtime chastity and lifestyle bloggers. Originally I was imagining this as sort of jumping off point for a whole discussion but 2020 hasn’t been as conducive for writing as I’d hoped.

Hello, I’m Tom Allen. You may have heard of me from such movies as “Squidnado Four” or “Follow that cab!” I’ve been writing about sexuality, relationships, and kink since the dial up Usenet days. 

Frankly, I’m at a point in my life where it doesn’t actually play a role. Mrs Edge has me locked in a steel cage. It’s fun, but it’s not a defining part of our lives, nor is it even a big deal anymore. The only time it actually comes up is when we’re having sex.

To me, that sounds like it’s fully integrated into your life. Which sounds pretty hot.

Howdy, I’m Thumper. I’ve actually been writing about chastity since before I was locked up. I launched my blog as we were just getting into it and prior to the first device showing up. That was [checks notes] 4,233 days ago. I mean, about 11 and a half years ago.
Nearly from the start, I found chastity has helped me discover and realize my submissive self. I feel I am more who I am supposed to be while in chastity. I would not want to be out and living as I once did.

Hi. I’m Drew. I’ve been writing about, tweeting about, and modeling chastity since 2014 after I met Thumper. I am unique to this group in several ways in that I am a 100% double gold star (look it up) homosexual (look that up too if you need to) AND I am almost more fascinated by seeing and controlling guys in chastity as I am in being locked in it myself. Sexually, I am more dominant than I am submissive (often despite my wishes it would be reversed) so I am often referred to as a locked top.

In my daily life chastity plays a role in various ways. If I am locked, which is not consistent since I (pre COVID) travel for a living and do not risk airport security and my places on various international pre-clearance lists, I am almost in a better mood because it just feels right. In addition, over the last six years I have made a lot of friends, some really close – including the artist who made my cages – who are into chastity and our texts and conversations always have a locked down connection. In my marriage, it’s just another day in our lives as well.

I must admit, I was not as familiar with Drew’s writing before this and am really pleased at having another perspective.

Who holds your key? How do they feel about it now, as opposed to when you first began?

Mrs Edge, my wife of 30 years, is very, very happy with our current arrangement. 

Mrs Edge has been on board from the start. She’s not very kinky, but there is something about this that “works” for her. None of the other bedroom BDSM things we’ve tried have resonated, but for some reason, she kept coming back to this. 

That’s how we ended up where we are. 

My wife Belle holds my key. I think at first she didn’t know what to make of this sudden new interest of her husband’s but she’s used to me having sudden new interests so went along. Eventually, she’s come into her own and has evolved from humoring me to being fairly adamant that I should not be unlocked. 

In theory, my husband Axel holds my key, but I always have access to one and never really FEEL like I can’t get out, but when I am locked under his direction, I never even think about being out unless given permission, no matter how horny I might be.

What is the most significant instance that got you into chastity play: either when it first excited you or when you realized that this was a major thing for you?

I need to think on this one. 

I wrote a blog post about it, but well before I realized enforced male chastity was a thing or that chastity devices existed, I kinked over erection compression and penis minimization. A lot of my mastubatory experimentation involved these things and so, that fateful day, when I happened to find chastity devices listed on an adult toy website, it was like a small explosion went off in my head (and pants). I knew instinctively what they were for and how they’d feel on, and that I absolutely had to be in one. 

When I met Thumper and started a sexual relationship with him. I was fascinated by his metal dick and have never once wanted to see it undone and that made me want to do all kinds of things to him, even though my switchy side was a bit jealous of his pendulum and wanted that for myself too.

I find that wearing a chastity device is so comfortable one almost forgets it is there. Which do you prefer, feeling as if  the device is a part of you or feeling it restraining you?

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I’ve stumbled into a good size and comfortable device. It only feels restraining when I’m aroused. The rest of the time it’s not or barely noticeable. That’s how I like it 

I find the longer I wear it and the more it restrains me and the less I see of its contents, the more it feels like it’s part of me. Which is what I want and crave. I am not a complete person at this point in my life without a device on me, preferably a shiny steel one. I want to feel comfortable most of the time but also want to always know it’s there. I find its presence comforting. 

I have five cages, three of which are custom made after being measured in person. Those fit like a literal glove and after about an hour in them, it feels natural to me. I love the way they make me feel a bit more endowed when flaccid as well. Like Tom, it only feels restricting when aroused and I kinda really dig that!

The CB3000 felt natural to me, but everybody is different. The A272 feels just as natural, but is slightly narrower which means that any arousal makes it feel constrictive, which leads to more arousal. 

Have you ever been outed as wearing a device, what was that like?

Except for the odd glances at the extra bulge I sometimes show, the only time I can recall being well and fully outed was when I got caught by the backscatter scanner going through the TSA checkpoint in O’Hare. It wasn’t fair since I’m pre-check specifically so I can avoid those things, but we transferred in Chicago and had to switch terminals which took us from behind the secure section so there I was. I wrote about this, too. Not only did the security agent feel the device, I had to show it to three of them in a small enclosed closet nearby while Belle and my daughter waited. When he first felt it and looked at me and I realized I was busted, there was a rush of angst and embarrassment but that didn’t last long. I wasn’t caught doing anything illegal or wrong and decided to enjoy the moment.

I find the longer we do this the more I wish people knew about it. The more I wish it wasn’t some secret as if it was something I should be ashamed of. Being locked up semi-permanently is an accomplishment and significant sign of devotion and while I don’t think wearing a t-shirt advertising the fact is necessary I also don’t do much to hide the fact I’m in steel anymore. 

I’m hoping that one day, devices will be as “kinky” as bedroom handcuffs or blindfolds. That is, a little naughty, but people know what they are, and it’s more cause for a knowing wink, than for kink shaming. 

That would be really cool. I definitely would love for chastity to be common enough that it wasn’t an issue for people to find out about. I don’t think I would mind my locked status being common knowledge.

Yes, Axel and I were at drinks with some of his friends. We were walking toward the bar for a drink and one friend, who is not even slightly close to being on the list of possible friends with benefits, brushed himself up against me and my crotch for some weird reason and, before I could stop him, he had a full feel of metal. Before I could say anything, Axel just said something like “that just makes sure he saves himself for me” and we went on about dinner. I remember thinking I should be embarrassed but I was weirdly proud.

I wonder if he spotted a bulge and went to check it out. 

While I was not caught wearing it, I was in customs in South Korea and the agent saw it in my backpack and proceeded to lay each and every piece of the cage in a bin and re-run it through security. I felt the entire country had seen my stuff and kinda wanted to hide. The same thing happened about two weeks later when I was leaving New Zealand and the agent, who was a lady who I think was about 97, opened my little pack of cages and parts, turned about 19 shades of red, and then handed me my backpack faster than anything she could have done.

It’s this kind of reaction that keeps me from even packing it in a bag. I don’t want curious TSAs or their Euro counterparts tempted to remove it. I just pack my old CB3K on trips and put it on after I arrive. 

Not outed, but at my wife’s work party once, a woman had to squeeze between me and a table or something. I was backed up against a wall, and her ass pressed into me so hard that there was no way she didn’t feel something hard. She gave me a smile as she left, and went about her business. 

I feel like a popular narrative for chastity involves the wearer wanting release more than the keyholder gives it. I do not feel like that has been the case in my relationship. Who wants you locked up more, you or your keyholder?

After doing this on and off for 20 years, we’re at the point where we want it equally. 

Both the same, I think. She wants use of the penis probably more than I want it used, but that’s not more than once every six to eight weeks. But as for being locked up the rest of the time, she expects I will be. And I wouldn’t really want not to be. 

We are equal in that, but for us, this isn’t like porn as it’s rarely mentioned and I can’t remember ever asking to be unlocked for sex.

I’ve read a bit more of Tom and Thumper’s blogs, so I know they often use strap-ons to have sex while locked, can I ask how you manage?

I guess I don’t. I mean if my husband wants me to top he unlocks me, but if he wants to be the top he uses me and then we go about the day or evening.  We are not that strict in it, as I have mentioned, so it’s not that hard and fast.

Have you found your perfect device? What is it? If not, what feature or design are you pining for?

I’d love to have this A272 in titanium for the lightness. 

I have a Crucible 2.0 ringless device and a Tiffany 2.0 from Steelwerks (in Canada). Both are 100% titanium and both were made from a custom fitting, so they are as close to perfect as I can get.

If I were to ask you what three things would you want when stranded on a desert island is your key one of them?

Naw. A machete, a fire starter, and a pot for water would be more useful. 

Nope. I’d want 100+ SPF sunscreen (I am a bald ginger), a fire starter and one of the Hemsworth brothers.

Finally, what would you recommend as a good resource for readers who are curious about chastity, and how would you recommend picking out a beginner cage? 

I was just talking about this recently; there really isn’t a single good resource, and even some of the FAQs that were written 10 or 15 years ago haven’t been updated, and don’t mention the inexpensive metal cages. 

I’m biased, but The Chastity Forums is a good place for newbs because the board is set up for married/partnered couples, and has a lot of fairly grounded people (mainly guys) who will give good information, without the fantasy and mythology. 

I’d still recommend the CB3000/6000 clones as good starter devices since they come with a range of rings and spacers to help men figure out a good long term fit for when they decide to upgrade. 

I think some of this depends on sexuality as well. I mean, all locked men can learn from each other and most of us would be considered open minded, but being controlled by and/or controlling another man with an active penis is an element you don’t get much of in the female led chastity forums. For that reason, I would recommend lockedmen.net as it’s almost all male/male chastity control.

As for devices, I am just not a fan of the CB series in any way, so I recommend the holy trainer or a COBRA from Mr. S. And I recommended that you buy the originals versus the ebay knockoffs just due to the artist’s rights to their work.

Thanks again to my chastity panelists here, be sure to check out their blogs, And happy Locktober everyone!