So I have a younger sibling, who is pretty cool, I guess, I’ve often said they were trying to be a miniature version of me growing up.
A few months ago we were talking, and when the subject came up of my most recently read books came up, I mentioned Kushiel’s dart series (which is a fantasy series about a divinely masochistic courtesan/spy) figuring that they probably had never heard of them. Turns out they had read them. There was a knowing look shared, possibly because the books are so risque, but I didn’t make anything of it.
Despite the hefty BDSM content of those books I assumed there was nothing to it, since my sibling had read copies belonging to a SO at the time. And I sort of figure if my Sibling were into BDSM I’d know because they have never been good at keeping secrets, their personal life has often been quite in the open and they are the worlds most miserable liar.
Really excellent portrayal of submission and masochism in those books
But low and a behold, I was at their apartment today, fiddling about on their laptop and /r/BDSM is one of the most visited sites, as in I hit the task bar and firefox assumes that’s the second most likely place for me to be headed. Which is interesting and a bit worrisome, because I post on the sister subreddit /r/BDSMcommunity fairly often and link here, where there are pictures of me…
Now, I’m wondering what I ought to do. We don’t share that much personal stuff, (mostly because I don’t want to hear about it) but it might be nice to have a real life confidant seeings as for the most part I only talk about this stuff online. And if they ever try to set me up in the future, they’ll have a better idea of what I’m looking for. On the other hand, talking about this with them might be really squicky.
See, the pat answer is ‘talk to them’. A few sentences, no big deal:
“Hey, I noticed when I was on your computer the other day that your browser history showed r/BDSM. Just wanted to let you know that I post on r/BDSMCommunity – didn’t want you to stumble across it, so wanted to mention it. Happy to talk about it if you want. See ya!”
But honestly, with my sibling, we NEVER talk about personal stuff, so there would be no sudden intimacy in having this in common. So in reality, I’d not say a word, and if she stumbled across my stuff, I’d expect her to squirrel it away and never say anything to me about it. And that’s okay with me.
Ferns
Right now I’m leaning towards keeping this under my hat. Especially considering their poor history of keeping secrets.
I have one living sibling – a brother who is slightly older than I am. My likely reaction, if I accidentally found out that he was similarly oriented, would be to hope we finally had something to bond over – that I had found a confidant and super-cool good-times were just around the corner. And I would probably act on this hope and talk to him and probably end up disclosing personal information to him…
and I would pay for it. I don’t know when or where or why, but he would make the worst of the situation. The reality of the situation is that I do not have the kind of brother than I want, and I never will. Believe me, it breaks my heart to admit that, but there is a reason why we haven’t spoken in three years.
So ask yourself this: What is the MOST LIKELY outcome if you talk about this? Once you have that answer; then you’ll probably have the answer to the questions you ask here.
I think the most likely result of talking about this, is maybe an inside joke or two, a bit of bonding and eventually the information making its way to someone I don’t wish to share this aspect of myself with.
*sighs*
My sister (only sibling) found Jay-sus 20 or 25 years ago, and is now a fundamentalist Xtian who doesn’t even hve sex with her long-term Xtian boyfriend – both of whom are in their 50s.
I’m totally and utterly alone. Oh, except for the lot of you.
O.O I’m in my twenties and haven’t had sex since my last relationship, which was a year ago. The idea of getting to my fifties and STILL having no sex fills me with more terror than any threat of hellfire ever will.
Has she ever been married? Fifty years seems like a long time to go without.
Also Xtian sounds like a diet supplement.