I think I’ve posted around here somewhere that Tavi tasked me with going back to school. Indeed the fall quarter starts on Monday and I am supposed to be attending. However I failed to have all my paperwork and tuition together in time for this quarter.
I had a good deal of difficulty just getting registered, needing multiple meetings, having to reschedule because of work. Finally I got into register with an academic advisor, only to be told that my previous english credit was too old and I need to take an assessment test before I could register.
I did at last register, and thought I had things in hand until on Friday I received an email demanding payment for the quarter. It seems my FAFSA wasn’t yet approved, or dispersed, or what have you. The financial office also doesn’t take phone calls on Fridays, so I was left to sort it out for myself for the weekend.
Monday came and the only option they had available for me was to pay up front and I’d be reimbursed when my financial aid came through in about a month. I don’t have the money (or even half the money for their deferred payment option) on hand, nor do my parents, as well I found that I was already on the schedule for work the next week, having not yet notified them of my class schedule (having not known exactly what or if it would be.)
I informed Tavi of my circumstance, my failure. She’s fairly upset with me, the lack of due diligence on my part, and my failure to come to her immediately with my setbacks.
For my part, I was annoyed by the way the system was so convoluted, and how much legwork I wasted getting every step completed, only to have it all go belly-up. Now, I’m far more distressed at having disappointed Tavi than I am at not getting to go to school this fall. This is the first time I’ve really failed at a task and I don’t know how to make it better.
When it comes to that whole “Do or do not, there is no try” motto, I call bullshit. Sometimes you try your hardest and things just don’t work out, it’s called life. I’m not saying there’s not more you could have conceivably done, but it sure as heck seems like you made a sincere and serious effort, at a time when, based on your posts about depression and anxiety, that must have been quite difficult to do.
Yeah, I tried as hard as I could.
I hope that she will see that Anxiety affects me differently than it does her (She becomes very task oriented, I become paralysed) and maybe forgive the poor result of my efforts.
The college game is a game…you have to know the rules and jump through the right hoops. Here’s what you need to do. You’ll have your FAFSA approved in time for the next semester so you should be able to take classes in January. Then, as SOON as you file your 2013 tax return, go do your FAFSA for next year. Yes, you have to do it every single year. Put it in you calendar – make it a priority.
Be sure you’ve cleared everything with the school NOW so that you can register for January classes as soon as they open registration for next semester. Again, find out that date, put it in your calendar and make it a priority.
That’s about all you can do at this point. I don’t know what sort of job you do, but if you’re able to take on extra hours or pick up a second part-time job for the rest of this semester, do it so you have extra money bankrolled which will allow you to cut down your hours next semester so you can focus more on classes on homework.
I totally get it, believe me – I’m a single mom of high school senior who is taking nothing but college classes (12 hours this semester) and who will graduate high school with 2 years (60 hours) of university done in May. I’m also in my last year of classes for my PhD and a GA on an assistantship for the first time this semester.
You can do this but you need to make yourself an expert on the rules and regulations, deadlines and hoops to jump through.
re: Tavi – my advice would be to write up a formal plan you will stick to and show her you’ve put relevant dates in your calendar, etc…
Good luck!
Yeah that’s pretty much a the plan, I’m going to schedule a meeting next week and make sure I’m all set. I already have the date for winter registration saved in my phone.
It is horrid to do all that and have it fall through. Up side (such as it is) is you have a better idea of how and what to do for next time.
Re: making it better with Tavi, I don’t know that you can. You can only go forward. But speaking as a Dom, if I was in her shoes I’d feel like I dropped the ball on this one. Yeah, you should have kept her informed, and yeah you should have kept her informed of the trouble you ran into, but communication goes both ways. If I set a sub a new task, especially a very involved one like gong back to school, I’m going to check in regularly, so I can be aware of any problems and decide if I need to make changes in the task setting.
I think Geekdomme’s advice of writing it all down and showing her yuo have a plan is solid. From what you are saying about anxiety in your earlier comment, I also think you need to sit down with Tavi and make sure she understands your mental health needs. If she is assuming that your reactions and needs are identical to hers because you have the same diagnosis, that’s a big problem. If you aren’t informing her about your reactions and needs so she can learn, that’s another big problem.
Good luck.