First things first, you’ve probably heard that lately WordPress has been pulling sex blogs with no notice. I’ve backed up Submissive In Seattle, and am looking about for a way I can self host, but I don’t really have any money to spend on it, and I don’t want to have a blog plastered with ads. If you know of a good option for me please let me know.
If the worst happens and Submissive in Seattle does get deleted you can follow me on Tumblr or Twitter for updates, and you will know as soon as I have a solution.
Again I’m writing about stuff that happened over a week ago, I tried a couple times to get something posted before now, but it’s been busy. I went to Seattle’s Pride festival two Saturdays ago. It was my first time going to pride, and I was a bit nervous about dealing with the crowds. So after work I stopped off at a friends house and had a few drinks.
A few strong drinks.
This isn’t that much of a problem, except that I am a jovial, convivial, even boisterous drunk, and Tavi had a busy day and wanted to nap. I However, felt the need to send her a number of texts describing the things I want to do to her, and may have annoyed the hell out of her just a little while she was trying to sleep.
Fortunately for me my phone died before I could dig myself an even deeper hole. I had a great time at Pride, and got home safely to sleep it off. When I woke up I looked back over my texts and saw just how obnoxious I had been.
I texted an apology and prepared to accept whatever punishment Tavi saw fit. At first it didn’t seem so bad, she ordered me to bring over a few treats, and said that I was not allowed to speak until spoken to. I could deal with that. I showed up with my tail between my legs, bearing gifts and humility.
There was one more component to my punishment for the day. No kisses.
It was terrible.
In general I’ve always thought that far too much of what people refer to as punishment in BDSM is too likely to contain at least some element of fun and arousal to effectively deter misbehavior. The constant confusion of punishment and “funishment’ in discussion made me wonder if it is even possible to have a working punishment dynamic in a D/s relationship.
Bad boy! Let me enact your favorite masturbatory fantasies, I’m sure that will change your behavior!
If all Tavi had done on Sunday was make me bring her some sweets and not allow me to speak without being spoken to, I know I would have avoided repeating my behavior in the future, just out of a desire not to upset her. But by making me go the whole day without kisses, I know the lesson is going to stick.
By the way, it’s not that the day was without affection (Which would have been devastating.) There was petting and cuddling. I was allowed to kiss parts of her. But if I went for her lips I was sharply reminded that I was in the doghouse. We had a pleasant enough day (besides the unbearable heat) and went out for a nice dinner at the same place we had our first date.
At the end of the night she gave me a kiss on the cheek and let me know she loved me. But I definitely learned my lesson.
No kisses is a brutal punishment. Kissing is one of the best things. With my ex, she would sometimes lean in like she was going to kiss me, but stop short and make me wait. Just a few seconds could be agonizing.
Yeah, I get made to wait pretty frequently even when I’ve been good. It’s always seemed unbearable until I had to go a whole day of being near her with not kisses at all.
Man that’s rough! haha Yeah, just a heads up I had to say bye bye to beaten into submission until I can self host so good luck to you. Until I figure out what to do I still blog, but damn it I miss talking BDSM 🙁
Ugh, that sucks. Did you get yanked? Was there any notice?
Yeah, they pulled it, no notice. I did back everything up thankfully but now I run my new blog without the BDSM stuff attached 🙁
I’m not sure what kind of budget you are working with, but I host with SeasonsHost.com – $10 for domain registry and about $36 for a year of hosting. I’m very happy with their service.
Thanks man, I think that may be doable, I’ll look into them.
Sorry it took me awhile to get to this. By the time your site was up, I was fighting the hospital’s nanny software!
But yes, a dominant who gives thought to the punishments and how they’ll affect you, specifically, is a treasure — even when you’re being punished.
(The URL above is for now — I doubt I’d get yanked, but I’m saving my nickels for a proper host anyway).
Yeah, Tavi is wonderful, even when i’ve been bad. Hostgator seems pretty cool so far and they weren’t too spendy.
It sounds like she is! (And I should know — I’ve got one, too)
Hostgator was one of the ones I researched, but I’ll probably end up on Hostmetro for my specific needs. Thanks, though!