Submissive in Seattle

Show up Naked

Show up Naked

So I found this on Tumblr tonight:

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, buttercup, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don’t care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin’ in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again.


HOW TO SATISFY A MAN EVERY TIME

Show up naked.

Shouldn’t there be enough guys out there who are tired of being treated as if their desires are simple (and exactly the same as every other guy on the planet) that this myth should have been well and truly busted already?

For that matter aren’t there enough women out there who are tired of being lied to about their partners desires, who have figured out that most men need more that a beer and a blowjob to make them happy?

I’m a complex human fucking being. If I were write down how to satisfy me every time (if I even knew) You can bet it would take more than three words, it would probably take more than three pages.

Arg!

9 thoughts on “Show up Naked

  1. Rougemarie

    I think this sort of thing is trotted out by emotionally stunted asshats to legitimise their emotionally stunted asshattery. ‘Just wanna see naked chixx, bro. CUZ I’M A MAN’.

    It’s also trotted out by misogynists who want to tell women who would like emotional intimacy with male partners that they should accept the ‘natural’ order of things in which women feel and men fuck.

    As an aside, what drugs was the author of that tumblr post on?? ‘Crystal blue persuade’ and ‘blue coral wax’? ‘Spotweld’ and ‘locomote’? We’re women, not steam trains. Finally, as domme and a feminist, the last thing I want is for someone to ‘rationalize, sanctify, detoxify’ me. I’ve already had enough of that to last a lifetime.

    1. Peroxide

      As a man with a broader range of emotions than horny/hungry this is getting pretty old, I was disappointed seeing if come from a Tumblr that is usually pretty awesome.

      As to what drugs they’re on, I think they may be being a little tongue in cheek about how much work is needed to satisfy a woman. I think the joke is supposed to be “look how demanding women are compared to men.”

      1. Rougemarie

        Fair point – guess I’m just one of those humourless feminists 😉

        I would like someone to give me a definition of ‘jiffylube’, though.

      2. Rougemarie

        Oh wow, I read the link. I’m not quite sure what the antonym of edification is, but whatever it is, it’s what just happened to me.

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