I’ve got kinda really big news that I‘ve been keeping under my hat. I hope those of you that read regularly aren’t upset that I didn’t spill these beans right away, I have some reasons which I’ll get into in a moment, but I won’t keep you waiting any longer.
I’m dating Professor Chaos! And, Holy fuck is she ever amazing.
Kind of like this, but in color, and a labcoat.
You might not be surprised if you follow either of us on twitter (or if you happened to get messages from both of us asking for advice about the other.)
I’m sure it seems to have happened even faster to you folks than it does to me, since you’re only getting weekly updates, and not always timely ones (case in point.)
Let me start over from the beginning.
Chaos, who I was aware of in sex/kink blogosphere moved to Seattle in August for grad school. I knew a bit about her from Twitter and some of her posts, and I offered to meet her for coffee. We had a great time, excellent chemistry, she’s so smart and funny and I totally felt bad that I was so attracted to her because I was in a relationship.
A few weeks later we went to the local TNG munch, and neither Tavi, nor the other friend I was going to accompany could make it. So, it was just the two of us and it was a lot of fun.
I asked friends about what I should do about this woman that I was crushing on, I’d never been in a relationship and remotely interested in another woman at the same time. I wasn’t sure if it was just that things were so rough with Tavi at the time, or if I was a bad, lustful, two-timing scumbag…
But, as it turned out I didn’t have to worry for long. Tavi dumped me a few days later. It hurt every bit as much as you’d expect. Thinking about it still hurts, but I didn’t want to spend months and months hermitting and moping over a relationship that always had an expiration date. I was determined to go out and socialize and try to feel good.
A few days later, I went out to do just that and Chaos texted me to see if I’d still like to learn how to blues dance. I felt so guilty about being so elated so soon after a breakup.
We text flirted a lot that week. I offered to trade her dinner if she’d make me cupcakes, So we had a second date lined up before we’d even had our first. We danced on a Thursday, then went out for late light sushi. Saturday, I made her dinner and we watched a movie, and cuddled. I rubbed her feet and we both came clean about our attraction to each other. She said she wouldn’t kiss me till our third date.
On our third date she strode through my front door and pushed me against the wall and kissed me like I’ve always wanted to be kissed.
Something like this.
So, yeah, we’ve been taking it slow…ish. As slow as is possible when you click so well, when everything feels so damn good. She is so, so awesome, and I could gush for a whole other post about how absurdly lucky I am that a smart, accomplished, funny, gorgeous, affectionate, dominant woman wants to be with me. The mere fact that we got together so soon and easily seems unreal.
I’m so happy to be with her, to get to be her toy, this could definitely be a thing.
*Chaos insisted that I make it very clear that I wasn’t poached from my last relationship, that I was on the market before she made a move.
I wondered if something like that might be in the air. Wishing you both much happiness! She sounds wonderful.
She is wonderful!
Wonderful to hear!
I know, right!
Slow is relative. I think I knew Mistress Delila about…hmmm…five days before I was telling her how much I loved her. Must have sounded like a crazy person. Then we met and…SWOON…it’s her or nothing, and I’m not settling for nothing!
It’s just great when it works, and it seems totally crazy to everyone. I say, relax and go with it. Good things sometimes happen to good people.
Wow, that is pretty fast.
So far we’re holding back on some heavy stuff. Major D/s stuff, rules and contracts come with a hefty sense of commitment for us.
But yeah, it’s good, even if it seems fast.
Again, fast is relative. We chatted in July, met for coffee in December, went to 24/7 D/s by July (after my previous dumped me in February and her divorce became final in March), and were pretty much decided by August to wed. We were engaged by Nov and I was collared by that December, scheduled a wedding for October, and eloped in March. Yes, married thirteen months after my dumping, and exactly a year after her divorce.
Lightning-fast by societal standards, but without a moment’s looking back or regret. Sometimes you know.
And this is not contest or challenge! Just reinforcement that you don’t have to follow a pattern.
Now would you please respectfully ask her to accept my follow request so that I can see both sides? 🙂
Yay and squee again! Being happy and having someone you connect well with is always worth celebrating.
I hope you know there’s nothing bad, two-timing, or scumbaggish about having a crush, whether you’re in a monogamous relationship or not. It’s a feeling, and a rather nice one. Be quite a shame to slather it in guilt when you haven’t done anything wrong.
I know these things to be true, I still felt like a cad for a bit anyway.
(also, Yay!)
That’s really great to hear, Peroxide. I’m glad you landed on your feet post-breakup (I’m still working on that myself). Remind me again how you’re doing on apartment hunting/work/plans for college?
Well, I’m sleeping on a friend’s couch, but I’ve got an appointment to meet with the person who runs the place I want to live in today, hopefully to get things moving along. College stuff has to wait until I’ve got an address.
*bounce bounce squeee* THIS IS SO AWESOME!!
And I feel really privileged that I got to see it unfold, it was like getting happies in stereo!
Happies!!
HAPPIES!!!!!
Congratulations to you both. I just can’t smile hard enough!
Ferns
I think it is so hilarious that we both wrote to you going “Ferns, What should I doooo!?!?!?!”
Thanks for your help.
*laugh*
If I recall correctly, I believe my advice in both cases was a sage and measured:
“HOW IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION?! THEY’RE AWESOME!!! GO GRAB ‘EM. NOW… GO… NOOOOOWWWWW… STOP WASTING TIME TALKING ABOUT IT… GOOOO!!”
*happy sigh*
I love it when a plan comes together :P.
Ferns
Congratulations! So excited for you both!
Thanks! I’m pretty excited too!