Let’s Talk about Ex

Lady D has me featured over on her blog right now as the first entry in her series Demystifying the Virgin Unicorn. Over there, you can read me talking a bit about why I’m holding onto my V-card.

I mentioned in that post the last (and only) major relationship I was in and how that played into my ongoing virginity, and I wanted to add to that a bit over here. I’m going to try not to make this story all weepy and emo, but if I come off as cynical it’s because this is the story off how I got my heart smashed into a million pieces.

How Peroxide Got his Heart Smashed into a Million Pieces: Part 1

I met K working at a church camp when I was seventeen. I couldn’t say why exactly I was attracted to her, she had  mischievous smile, and a quirky personality. I spent one evening hanging out with her after my curfew and I was hooked.

After a few weeks of hanging out (time really flies at camp) I wrote her a letter in which I was completely unreservedly honest about how I felt about her. I don’t remember the whole thing, but I remember it took about four attempts to write, and I included such gems as “When I see you my heart beats faster.”

K, not exactly being the romantic that I am, found it to be cheesy and hilarious to the extreme. So after I left in her mail cubby and went on an overnight camp out, she read it to everyone.

Everyone.

And then he wrote "I get excited just thinking about you"

Possibly because I was brain damaged, or possibly because of the amused gleam in her eyes whenever I looked at her, this did little to cool my passions. My overzealous attraction to her (and her humiliating rejection) became a running joke some skits I was in, and we continued to spend out free time together. There was chemistry there, but she didn’t acknowledge it until half way through the summer during the staff break.

There was a joke among the staff that staff break was when all the camp couples would have their DTR‘s and that’s exactly what happened. K dragged me off away from the party  the fist evening and we spent hours talking on the high dive. It seems like we had things sorted out. but the next day she told me it was going too fast, and broke it off. A few weeks later, she did explain that she liked me too, and just didn’t want to be a “camp couple” but when camp ended we could date.

She kissed me first. K had a forwardness that I might’ve mistaken for dominance, though I didn’t yet know that that was what I wanted, but I did like her making the first move. We ended up making out quite a bit before camp was officially over and we we’re officially dating.  Our first date, all I wanted to do was kiss her, but the movie we popped in was Rocky Horror and I didn’t want her to think that Tim Curry in lingerie made me amorous. Eventually though we did get to kissing, a pattern our dates would follow ever after.

If so far this all seems like ridiculous high school bullshit, it was. A lot of my feelings for K were probably influenced by the tanker truck full of hormones my brain was producing and my infatuation with the idea of being in love, as much as it was ever really about her.

Try explaing your half-chub while this is on screen, let's see how far you get.

You know what, it’s really late so I’ll continue this later with our hot and sweaty adventures and the break up in part 2 tomorrow. (or you know, whenever I get around to it.)