First things first, you’ve probably heard that lately WordPress has been pulling sex blogs with no notice. I’ve backed up Submissive In Seattle, and am looking about for a way I can self host, but I don’t really have any money to spend on it, and I don’t want to have a blog plastered with ads. If you know of a good option for me please let me know.
Again I’m writing about stuff that happened over a week ago, I tried a couple times to get something posted before now, but it’s been busy. I went to Seattle’s Pride festival two Saturdays ago. It was my first time going to pride, and I was a bit nervous about dealing with the crowds. So after work I stopped off at a friends house and had a few drinks.
A few strong drinks.
This isn’t that much of a problem, except that I am a jovial, convivial, even boisterous drunk, and Tavi had a busy day and wanted to nap. I However, felt the need to send her a number of texts describing the things I want to do to her, and may have annoyed the hell out of her just a little while she was trying to sleep.
Fortunately for me my phone died before I could dig myself an even deeper hole. I had a great time at Pride, and got home safely to sleep it off. When I woke up I looked back over my texts and saw just how obnoxious I had been.
I texted an apology and prepared to accept whatever punishment Tavi saw fit. At first it didn’t seem so bad, she ordered me to bring over a few treats, and said that I was not allowed to speak until spoken to. I could deal with that. I showed up with my tail between my legs, bearing gifts and humility.
There was one more component to my punishment for the day. No kisses.
It was terrible.
In general I’ve always thought that far too much of what people refer to as punishment in BDSM is too likely to contain at least some element of fun and arousal to effectively deter misbehavior. The constant confusion of punishment and “funishment’ in discussion made me wonder if it is even possible to have a working punishment dynamic in a D/s relationship.
If all Tavi had done on Sunday was make me bring her some sweets and not allow me to speak without being spoken to, I know I would have avoided repeating my behavior in the future, just out of a desire not to upset her. But by making me go the whole day without kisses, I know the lesson is going to stick.
By the way, it’s not that the day was without affection (Which would have been devastating.) There was petting and cuddling. I was allowed to kiss parts of her. But if I went for her lips I was sharply reminded that I was in the doghouse. We had a pleasant enough day (besides the unbearable heat) and went out for a nice dinner at the same place we had our first date.
At the end of the night she gave me a kiss on the cheek and let me know she loved me. But I definitely learned my lesson.