I’ve been commended by various folks for figuring out and articulating what I want at such a young age (and for choosing to pursue it.) Though even at twenty three I wish I’d figured this stuff out sooner and saved myself a bit of heart ache along the way.
I don’t feel like I have some sort of super-powered introspection- what a lame super power that would be.
Why do people go for so long before figuring out that they are “kinky,” before realizing how strongly they desire to have a pronounced D/s dynamic in their relationship?
For, me once I realized that this was something I wanted, it was so freaking obvious, almost every sexual or romantic fantasy I can ever remember having involved some sort of power disparity between myself and the object of my fantasies. (Though, I realize that not all fantasies literally represent something we want to do.)
For me it was simply a matter of the evidence clicking into place and suddenly I just knew that this is what I’ve always wanted. I continue to read and clarify what it is that I’m looking for, I try to make sure that I’m not narrowing my focus to an impossible ideal.
What I’m doing doesn’t seem to be very difficult, why do other people have such a hard time of it?
At this point I’m tempted to segue to what I see as related topics, such as the Church’s mishandling of sexuality (especially in the twenty years or so, when it became obvious it was a losing battle) or why I think female masturbation ought to be encouraged, (It’s safe, fun and encourages people learn about their personal sexuality) but those are both topics that I think deserve their own post
I’m considering leaving this one open, I’d love to hear about how people figured out their kinks, what the early steps they took towards embracing them were.