Now, we all know of course that men aren’t allowed to show emotion, (there was a brief period growing up where it seems women were looking for sensitive men, but that was over well before I began dating.) Anyway, Chiefly among the emotions a man is not supposed to express is loneliness.
It doesn’t matter if a man has been single since 2006, or that the last woman to kiss him was a Chinese Karaoke hostess, a man simply can’t admit that that he is so fucking lonely that sometimes (just sometimes) he wants to cry.
Everyone knows that only weird losers are lonely, and if someone says that they are lonely then they are probably a weird loser.
A few years ago, “a friend” of mine, tried to have a heart to heart with a mutual friend of ours, about how he was pretty lonely, and it was getting to him. There after “my friend’s” desperate loneliness was a punchline. Something to be joked about and tossed back in his face. So, you see, I know that this is something that we guys can’t talk about.
There are a couple of terrible pieces of advice that everyone will give you if you do admit to being lonely.
1. You’ll find love when you stop looking.
Ugh, that is such bullshit, please, really just stop. When you’ve been alone for a long time, the last thing you want to hear is to just be passive and hope that a relationship falls in your lap. And no taking some time to focus on my life isn’t going to help either, I’ve focused on work for the past five years, I’m not going to meet a women that fits me, making coffees or busing tables.
2. Have fun just spending time with freinds.
Maybe I need some new friends then. All my roommates have Girlfriends and playing third, fifth, or seventh wheel, gets old pretty fast. Even then, Hanging out with friends does little when you’re fucking touch starved because you never get extended contact with another human being, and touch is the primary way you feel love. And no, just getting a hug from your bros everyone in a while isn’t going to cut it. I want someone to make out with dammit!
P.s. this post is about some other sad bastard, totally not myself.