Holy shit! It has been a new year for over two weeks now, and I haven’t posted anything. I really should have because, besides the fact that I’ve been busy, this year has started off better than any other that I can remember.
After being gone for the holidays, Chaos came home in time for us to spend new years even together. We went fusion dancing and had so much fun. It was wonderful having her back in my arms and kissing her as the clock hit midnight.
Since then we’ve done much that I need to write about, she gave me a training collar, stuck some needles in me, we’ve been going to play parties… Oh, and I had my 25th birthday.
I’ve been very apprehensive about turning 25. In many ways I’ve marked it in my mind as a deadline for undertaking adulthood. Or something along those lines. But here I am, 25 and not feeling at all wretched and hopeless for being where I am. I am making progress, maybe not quickly or steadily, but things are changing for me. I’m happy, really, consistently happy.
My birthday was pretty great. As apprehensive as I was, I did not want a big-to-do. I just wanted to have fun, and that’s what I did. I slept in. I had cake for breakfast. (That is, I had homemade chocolate cake that my amazing girlfriend secretly acquired my grandmothers recipe to make for me, for breakfast.) We had lunch with my parents, “Sushi,” I ate so much sushi it was ridiculous. Then laziness, and then that evening Chaos took me to the CSPC and beat the fuck out of me.
While I’m not completely at ease in the public scene, Chaos makes it easy to focus on nothing but her. Chained to a post, all the distractions fade. All I care about is where she is, as she circles me. Anticipating and taking each strike as she works me into a frenzy.
After she beat me into submission (not necessary, but fun) she brought out her Fucking Evil Zapper Thing, and told me that she was going to make me beg. It didn’t even take too long before I didn’t want anymore. I wanted to end it enough that I made her an offer I knew she would accept. I’d take needles if she would stop zapping me.
After sterilizing and setting up a space to do needles, she took just one out and tortured me with it. I don’t do well with needles to begin with, so she made a big production of dragging it across my chest before stabbing it into me. By then, I was a big subby mess, so we cleaned up, and she chained me back up, facing her, and punched me until I broke.
She held me and let me cry and and took very good care of me.
After we left the CSPC, we grabbed dinner and went home, where she gave me the best birthday present ever!
It was a wonderful birthday, and a great way to start the year!