This morning I was already missing Tavi, we had a date night last night, but I’m just sort of desperately in need of attention right now. I’ll see her Sunday, but I wanted a little something more to hold me over. So I texted and asked if it would be weird if I asked for an order or task or just anything I could do for her. Her reply was that she was already planning on sending me an order, so that was fortuitous.
I’m not allowed to masturbate until Sunday.
I can hardly complain. I mean, I wrote up my list list of hard limits, and I knew that anything I left off there was something I was giving her authority over. I even considered as I texted her that this would be what she’d assign me. Still, I’m already… not regretting per se, but suffering for it.
Not to give you nice folks too much insight into my habits, but I almost certainly would have had a wank by now. Knowing that I can’t makes it so much harder not to. I feel like the pressure is building up more than it would be otherwise, making it all the more difficult to resist.
The upside of which is that it makes me constantly mindful of the control Tavi has over me, which really is a marvelously delicious thought to turn over and over in my mind. That she gets to make this basic instinctual decision for me makes be feel wonderfully submissive. It’s pretty much exactly what I needed.
But still, it’s hard.