As I said, Tavi and I discussed a bit of escalation in our relationship Friday. She’s given me plenty of time to suss out what I want before we move forward, but for the the most part I think I know.
If you’ve been reading you know that while we’ve been doing Topping/bottoming we really haven’t done much in the way of D/s. Originally, this was a limit for me, if we were going to be just play partners then there was just too much emotional attachments to submitting for me to do that casually. Our relationship is hardly casual at this point, and not doing D/s because it will hurt when it’s over hardly makes sense.
I’m more submissive than masochistic anyways, and while Tavi has really only given me orders during play I can’t think of any instance where I’ve not done something she’s requested. Furthermore I try and make sure that our dates are as easy and pleasant for her as possible, offering to cook or pick up food, generally trying to attend to her wants and needs. Proceeding into D/s territory won’t be that big of a step for me.
Well, maybe that’s not true. I’m not sure. I suppose it will be a fundamental change to the dynamic of our relationship. Tavi has always phrased requests as such, but like I said, I have always acquiesced to these requests. Hypothetically if I had refused, she may have been disappointed, but we didn’t have an agreement that I would do as she said. I’m curious, excited, and a little scared to see how different an order feels.
The only thing I see posing a difficulty as we move into D/s is trying to maintain my limit on sex. We also talked about that limit, how firm I was on it still, under what circumstances would I change that stance. Here I have a beautiful woman, with whom I have an emotional connection, excellent chemistry and she wants the same type of sex that I want. I’m sure many of you are shaking your heads at the thought that I would deny both of us what we desire for any reason.
The best way I can explain my need to maintain my abstinence to readers who may not share my faith, is that I hope to someday be married. I expect that the woman I marry will value this preemptive faithfulness. If there is a D/s element to my marriage (and honestly I don’t know that I could do without that) my abstinence is also a preemptive act of submission. Tavi’s ideal future has her married with a submissive as well as a husband, and while sometimes I see the appeal of such a life, I believe the wisest course of action is to plan for taking the hardest route to happily ever after.
Which is to say, I’m going to keep my limits on sex, but I expect it to be more difficult. A lot more difficult.