There was a post I was thinking about writing at one point, about how silly it is that first piece of advice often given to people beginning to explore kink is to have a safeword. Actually, I still think it’s a little ridiculous for the first piece of advice for a couple beginning…
Young Kinky People
There isn’t exactly a wealth of information aimed at young kinky people. There are a few resources (such as Scarleteen) which provide some information of BDSM to younger people, but for the most part kinksters are assumed to be established adults. In any case, I feel like they’re isn’t a…
Let’s play “Who’s got it the hardest?”
Ok, let’s not, since that’s a game that is bound to end in tears and recriminations. Life, dating and relationships are pretty rough for most everyone, and if you’ve got it easy, well then I secretly hate you. I’m thinking specifically of something a woman identifying as submissive said the…
An Infinite amount of Dommes
I have this thought, that with enough time the right woman could get me to do anything. I tend to think that people are capable of anything under the right circumstances, and I wonder how malleable I would be in the hands of a woman that really knew how to…
Size shouldn’t matter, right?
Now, I’m not talking about that. I just wanted to make a quick comment on how frequently in artistic depictions “dominant” translates to “larger than.” This was brought to my mind today seeing this picture show up on tumblr and being quite confused as to whether the woman is supposed to be…
Dominance by Denial
One of the most common little themes I see floating around the discussion of Femdom relationships is that “the way” to get compliance from your male sub is to deny him sex. Not just sex, but sometimes any touch, or affection or permission to view his partners body. Which, listen…
Tell me again, How can a man be submissive and sexy?
I’m still struggling to find a way to be a sexy man. One of my major stumbling blocks is that the foundation of heterosexual male attractiveness in our culture is masculinity, which is always coded as dominant (among other things.) In preparation and inspiration for this post I read another…
Under-thinking precedes Over-thinking
If you are at all familiar with my blog you should be able to tell that I over think almost everything, especially in regards to inter-personal relationships. Except sometimes I don’t. You may recall that I totally jumped the gun on signing up for OKCupid. I sometimes think about finding…
Curiouser and curiouser.
So I have a younger sibling, who is pretty cool, I guess, I’ve often said they were trying to be a miniature version of me growing up. A few months ago we were talking, and when the subject came up of my most recently read books came up, I mentioned Kushiel’s dart…
Going to bat
The struggle to make male submission an accepted expression of sexuality is obviously just one teeny-tiny part of a larger struggle for the freedom of sexual expression everywhere. It’s one of those instances, where I figure one should lead, follow or get out of the way. I very much appreciate the…